Monday, March 11, 2024

The Insanity of Kitchen Islands, and Other Winter Reflections (Books Lately, Winter 2023)


Well, folks, 2023 is finally over.

It was a year of extremes. Extreme joy - goals achieved, new life, and miraculous answers to prayer. And extreme sorrow - loss, suffering, death, illness, and stress of all kinds. 

In summary, 2023 really was a year to remember. 

So far, 2024 has been a year of... illness. So far we've had three colds, influenza, and a particularly violent stomach bug. Oh, I hope that we can move past this soon! 

We have also had another pregnancy and loss - not the catastrophic nightmare of last time, but only the briefest whisper of a presence before a tiny soul took flight. 

2024 has already been quite the year.

***

My goal for the beginning of this year is setting better systems in place.

A systems - meaning any personal or household routine - can be good or bad. For example, "get up, panic at how behind I am, yell at kids, rush out the door late" would be a not-so-good system. An improved alternative might be "get up, make a to-do list, switch the laundry, put away the dishes." Etc. 

I have some good systems, but I also have some not-so-good systems. Most of my bad systems have to do with poor household management - specifically, management of how my children manage their time and belongings. So much of the time what happens seems to run along these lines:

(1) The children make horrendous messes and leave them for Mom to clean up.
(2) Mom end up overwhelmed and discouraged.

Ditto with time management.

And this is obviously a bad thing. Thus, my goal this year is to work on implementing better systems. Here are some things that I have implemented, or am in-process on implementing:

(1) Teaching children to make their beds and brush their teeth immediately upon rising, so that it's not a mom-has-to-nag item for later.

(2) Writing out complete chore lists, so that I'm not randomly assigning chores all of the time.

(3) Implementing a zero-tolerance rule for clothing left on the floor. (This is a major problem in our home, and endless reminders and do-overs have done nothing to improve things.)

(4) Having children age 10 and older take over their own laundry duty. I have always done all of the laundry up until this point, but I have realized that our older children do not know how to do laundry. I need to improve on this - pronto.

(5) Using a reward system for staying on task during lessons. Each child starts the morning with five "m&m credits," and I cancel one credit each time a child is dawdling or goofing off. Remaining credits are paid at the end of lesson times. 

Note: This system worked for an impressive two days before I forgot about it. I really need to get it re-started. I find that reward systems fall by the wayside very quickly around here. I'm not sure if that's the system, or me. Does anyone have any insight on that issue?

(6) Working to standardize breakfast - i.e. assigning a particular breakfast to each day of the week. Right now I know (blessedly) that Monday is reliably "oatmeal," but after that it rather descends into a free-for-all, and the system needs improving. I have tried the "everyone makes his own breakfast" method, but that has not worked for us - the end result is inevitably a kitchen mess that would make any mum weep with despair. 

** If anyone knows of great school-day breakfasts, please let me know! Really. I need ideas.

(7) Improving our bedtime routines. Right now it usually tends toward "wild kids, stressed parents," and we need improvement.

All that to say, family life is very interesting, and it's never dull. There is always something to work on. 

What are you working on in your family life right now?

***

As usual, I am super-late with finishing Christmas activities. I realized that most of that was due to our behind-hand school year (more on that later), which caused me to push all the way to the end with schoolwork, rather than taking Thanksgiving through Epiphany as a Christmas vacation. 

Also, though, I have realized something foundational to the holidays - nothing is worth having a stressed-out Christmas. Nothing. (I've gone that route before.) So if we're doing Christmas into February (or June), fine. 

So, this season, most Christmas activities (cookies, etc.) didn't happen before Christmas. Or Epiphany.


King Cake for Epiphany. Whoever finds the hidden treat is "king for the year."

Or Candlemas.

Or Ash Wednesday.

So here we are, in the beginning of Lent, taking Christmas cookies to neighbors. (Really. I'm not kidding.)

Better late than never?

(Or make them just a bit later, and call them "Easter cookies.")

At least we did manage to get most of our Christmas activities done. Decorating Christmas cookies, baking lepkuchen, concocting our Christmas pudding (which we traditionally light on Candlemas, but illness and jobs prevented that this year), baking fruitcake, building gingerbread houses - most of it got done. The only things that I couldn't quite finish were baking the last bit of lepkuchen and serving our Christmas pudding, both of which will be frozen until after Easter.

Merry Christmas, y'all. 

(Oh, and our decorations are still up. Oops.)



Graham Cracker Gingerbread Houses! This year our eldest rejected my "cheat" of assembling the houses with hot glue, and insisted on using the proper royal icing alone as a cementing agent, and surprisingly, it came together well. I also had the experience of making royal icing without a hand mixer - my hand mixer having received mortal wounds in the effort of making dairy-free nut-based cheese (which was awful). Surprisingly, making royal icing by hand was not difficult, and turned out better than my usual royal icing. 



***

But back to the topic at hand - kitchen islands.

Whose idea were they, anyway?

Because the ideal - a beautiful clean surface cheerfully serving as an extra kitchen prep area - is completely different from the reality - an insanity-producing clutter attractant.

Seriously, you guys. 

Our kitchen island does very little other than attract clutter. And mean clutter, mind you. The easy-to-put-away clutter doesn't stick around. What does stick around is the hard-to-put-away clutter - the stuff that really doesn't have a home; the stuff that is a serious nuisance. And work as hard as I might, the clutter flows onto the kitchen island far faster than I can put it away.

In fact, a week or two ago, I spent a serious amount of time clearing the surface - and the clutter was back within 30 minutes. I did this three times in one day. It was utterly futile.

And thus, I do question the sanity of whoever created these clutter-attracting beasts. "Hey! Let's make a two-ton clutter-attractant, and put one in each American kitchen! Great idea, yes?"

Some ideas are better left on the cutting room floor.

And now, some books!

***


Lord of the Flies (William Goulding, 1954) – Realistic fiction.

This book - a work of fiction in which a group of English schoolboys, marooned on a desert island, gradually descends from orderly government into savagery and barbarism - is considered a classic, and is an interesting interpretation of the workings of human nature, especially human nature in social groups detached from general society.

I have wanted to read this book ever since high school - it only took me 25 years or so to get around to it!

My reactions were mixed. The book was fairly gruesome, and made unpleasant reading. Also, some parts - such as the part about the pilot - were puzzling. I don't think I'll be going back for a re-read.

At the same time, the book is valuable and contains good material. The ending is splendidly written. And the book contains valuable insight - namely, that human nature is not naturally good. While human beings are made of good stuff, we have much evil contained within us (just as the Bible teaches, and the Founding Fathers well knew). It takes good methods of government to control the evil side of human nature, and bad forms of government can release a hellish force of evil if they do not acknowledge and allow for the evils inherent within human nature. 

I would love to hear what others thought of this book. Thoughts, anyone?


Fast Food Genocide (Joel Fuhrman, 2017) – Nutrition and nutrition politics.

I've noticed that nutrition books often have titles that are not accurate portrayals of the book's true intent. For example, a famous book about wheat has a title that implies "you should stop eating wheat," but what the author actually means is that "you should stop eating wheat, all grains, sugar, and practically all carbohydrates." And it's the same thing here. The title implies "you should stop eating fast food," but the author's message is that "you should stop eating fast food, junk food, processed food, salt, and meat, and eat a vegan diet." I really prefer titles that accurately portray the message of a book, and not just a tiny bit of it. 

I enjoyed this book. It's got a lot of great material. One thing that I especially appreciated is the author's grasp of a little-realized fact - that diet has a real influence on mental health. This is one of those things that is well-documented in the literature but not acknowledged in common medical practice, and it's a  fact that is not receiving the recognition it deserves. Our food influences our mood, and our mental health. (The author does, in my opinion, take this theme way too far, attributing everything from racism to crime to dietary deficiencies. So, a good beginning, but took it far past logic or reason.)

Two downsides of this book:

First, wokeness. In the middle of the book, the reader is suddenly treated to a pages-upon-pages chapter on the evils of Southern whites. It's long, and it's vituperative, and it's really unnecessary and out of place. A one-paragraph summary of the author's point (that nutritional deficiencies could have contributed to racial strife, which is questionable anyway) would have sufficed. 

Secondly, there are hints throughout the book that the author would prefer nutritional policies to be not just recommendations but goverment mandates. In other words, the government should control what and how people are allowed to eat. Really? 

I do understand the frustration of watching people destroy their health with bad food choices. But governmental control is, in my opinion, not the answer.

As one reviewer noted:
"I have eaten the diet that Dr. Furhman advocates since 2013. It is definitely the safest way to eat, tastes good, and has helped my health. For this I will always be thankful. But not all of Dr. Fuhrman's words in this new book, in fact, maybe only a quarter of his words in this new book, are factual. He has a political agenda and would legislate the way people eat. Perhaps it is because he cares about us, or perhaps because he would back his atheistic beliefs and feel good about himself; and also perhaps that he would grow rich in this world's assets. It is one thing to expose the poor eating habits of Americans and educate them, and now, those copying American society around the world; but it is another to enforce through civil law the way people eat."

There is good material in this book - but I'd prefer a book about straight nutrition that leaves politics alone. 



Witness (Whittaker Chambers, 1952) – Autobiography of a Communist agent turned informer during the first half of the 20th century.

A friend heard that I'd never read this book and promptly handed me a copy. In my ignorance, I thought that it was a book off of which the movie "Witness" had been made - it's not, and the two have nothing to do with each other. But without further ado, I plunged into the book.

"Witness" is the autobiographical account of the life of Whittaker Chambers, from his (very dysfunctional and sad) childhood through his young adulthood, when he became passionately and deeply involved with the American Communist party, up until his departure from the Communist party - which was an extremely dangerous thing for him and his family - and through his participation as a witness in the Alger Hiss trial (which, again, I'd never heard of).

This book has to go on my list of top favorites. It is fascinating, well-written, engaging, and covers a lot of very important American history, especially regarding the spread of Communism in America. I wish that this book were on more high school level reading lists - I'm guessing that it is the book's length that prevents this (it is quite long), but this book is a keeper.

For more on the history of Communism in America, another person to check out is Bella Dodd, who was - during the same time period - responsible for placing Communist agents in the American public school system. She also has an amazing story to tell.

Highly recommended!



Gaudy Night (Dorothy Sayers, 1935) – Realistic mystery set in the 1930s.

A young woman (Harriet Vane) works to solve the mystery of a "poison pen" amongst the female dons at Oxford. Harriet's friend (and disappointed lover), Lord Peter Wimsey (a professional detective, and one of Sayers' ongoing characters) comes down to help her, and the mystery is solved. Even more interestingly, the book contains the final answer to "will she or will she not finally say yes to Lord Peter Wimsey's proposals"?

I have heard of Dorothy Sayers for years, and I was so glad to finally pick up one of her books. While I am an avid Agatha Christie fan, I actually don't usually go for mysteries, so I wasn't sure if I would like this book. But I enjoyed it very much.

Unlike Agatha Christie novels, which are the soul of brevity and inevitably get straight to the point, Gaudy Night was super-long and had a gentle, relaxed tone that made for a very long and leisurely read. The descriptions and character developments are first-rate.

The downside to the book was that there were so many characters that I simply couldn't keep them straight, and by the time I reached the "who done it" denouement, I didn't really know who the culprit was - or much care. But I enjoyed the book thoroughly for its workmanship, and I loved meeting Lord Peter Wimsey, another detective who has become a classic, and it was fun to compare him with my beloved Hercule Poirot.

One interesting note was how deeply embedded the doctrines of feminism were in this text - perhaps not too surprising, as the story took place among female academics, but surprising to me, as the book was written just about 100 years ago. It goes to show how far back in history the feminist movement goes - unlike many modern Christians who intone that "everything was fine through the 1950s." This book had so modern a tone that I would not have questioned anyone who told me that it was written in the past couple of years. I wondered, also, how much Sayers herself subscribed to feminist views, or if they were simply taken on for the sake of the book, or if she even realized that she was espousing feminism. A most interesting study in worldview.

I very much enjoyed this book and am looking forward to reading more of Dorothy Sayers.

Any other Sayers fans out there? I would love to hear your take on her books. 


Suicide of the West (Jonah Goldberg, 2018) – Political and worldview analysis.

I expected this book to be an easy read, but it was actually much more of a challenge than I expected. But it was a good challenge, and I enjoyed it very much.

Because this book was written during Donald Trump's presidency, the author deals with a lot of Trump politics, focusing especially on the rise of populism. The author is not particularly pro-Trump, and he goes into detail about the trends arising around Trump's rise to popularity. Having always been mildly pro-Trump myself, it was really good for me to read a conservative commentator's thoughtful and well-reasoned arguments (instead of unreasoning hysteria) for not being in favor of Donald Trump, and I came away from the book with an appreciation of the non-Trump side of conservative American politics.

I enjoyed this book. It was worth the effort to read, and I gained a lot through reading it. 

Anyone have thoughts on this book?



A Severe Mercy (Sheldon Vanauken, 1977) – Autobiography.

I am an enormous fan of C. S. Lewis - and I expect that you are too, dear reader. His books have influenced and challenged and blessed me enormously. 

C. S. Lewis's books have, to my mind, a distinct flavor - a feel, a style - that one can detect at sixty yards. It's like a delicious scent that one immediately knows as something beloved and familiar. 

This book had the delicious scent of a C. S. Lewis book. I recognized it immediately. And yet the book is not written by C. S. Lewis at all. What was going on?

As I read, I discovered that while this book was not written by C.S. Lewis, it was written by a man who was befriended by C. S. Lewis, and later became an intimate life-long friend.

I guess C. S. Lewis awesomeness can be gained by association!

A Severe Mercy is Vanaukin's autobiographical account of his youth and young adulthood, focusing on his courtship and marriage with his wife, Davy, until her early death (at around the age of 40), and of his grief after her passing. It is also the telling of the couple's coming to the Christian faith, under the mentorship of C. S. Lewis, and the development of their faith through the years. 

To put it mildly, A Severe Mercy is one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. I enjoyed it tremendously. And it's not just a love story - it's got a lot of real depth to it as well. As literature, as a love story, and as a religious work, it is a work of great merit.

I learned that there is a sequel, titled Under the Mercy - which is, alas, out of print and rather pricey to find used. However, I think it would be worth the money to snag a copy, and I'm currently working on that. 

This book merits not an "it's okay, maybe read it" label, but a go out and buy it right now! designation. 

I know you'll enjoy this book as much as I did. 


Jeeves & Wooster Books of the Month!

This month my Jeeves & Wooster selections included the following:

  • Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves (P.G. Wodehouse) 
  • Very Good, Jeeves! (P. G. Wodehouse) 
  • Right Ho, Jeeves








For Children: Picture Books

They Were Strong and Good (Robert Lawson, 1940) – Autobiographical account of the author’s immigrant and pioneer ancestors.

A wonderful picture book - well drawn, engaging, and full of both historical merit and positive character messages. Highly recommended. 








Christmas in the Trenches (John McCutcheon, 2006) - Non-fiction.

The story of the 1914 Christmas truce - in which German and British soldiers spontaneously declared a cease-fire in order to celebrate Christmas as friends - I find one of the most moving of all war stories, and I was thrilled to find a children's book telling the story. 

The author, John McCutcheon, wrote a song about the Christmas truce titled, appropriately, "The Christmas Truce" - you can watch a video of the author singing the song here

This book would make an excellent addition to a study of World War I. It's also a great character builder in the qualities of mercy, compassion, and peace building. 

Enjoy!


For Children & Teens: Novels

Ballet Shoes (Shoes series by Noel Streatfeild, 1936) – Realistic fiction.

It is a tragedy that I did not know about this wonderful series during my own childhood!

The "Shoes" books form a six-book series written all about girls in different dance or artistic pursuits - ballet, dance, theatre, skating, etc. The books are extremely well-written and entertaining, as well as educational - both about the artistic pursuits, and about life in an earlier time (the first Shoes book was written in 1936).

Some of these books are easily available, while some are difficult to find. A five-book set is available here (missing "Dancing Shoes," which is thankfully one of the easier books to find, so you can buy that one separately to complete the series). 

I highly recommend this series. I read it myself, just for fun!  



Classic Starts books (various) – Various titles abridged for elementary-aged children

There are several mainstream series of abridged classics for children, and I have really fallen in love with this one - "Classic Starts." The series includes many classic works, and all are tastefully written and illustrated. All of our children have benefited from this easy introduction to classic literature.








The House of Sixty Fathers (Meinert DeJong, 1956) – Realistic fiction set in World War II Japan.

I'd heard of this book for years, but never read it - and wow, was I missing out. This book - a wartime story in WWII-era China - is an absolute delight, and both I and our children loved it. It would be a lovely addition to any unit study on WWII or modern history, and any age from mid-elementary and up would benefit from it - and enjoy it!

Highly recommended. 








Brady (Jean Fritz, 1960) – Realistic fiction set in pre-Civil War Pennsylvania.

We've always enjoyed Jean Fritz's Revolutionary War era books, as well as her other books, so I was excited to read Brady, a new read for me. The book follows a young boy through his experience with pre-Civil War politics and slavery issues, including his family's participation on the Underground Railroad.

I enjoyed this book very much.







Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Ian Fleming, 1964) – Fantasy.

The adventures of a flying car and the family who owns it!  In all honesty, it's not really my style, but there's no doubt that it's fun, well-written, and an established classic. Give it a try, or let your kids have at it. 








Archimedes and the Door of Science (Jeanne Bendick, 1962) – History.

The life of Archimedes. Very well-written, and includes a lot of history as well as early science. Highly recommended!









A Gathering of Days: A New England Girl’s Journal, 1830-32 (Joan W. Blos, 1979) – Historical fiction set in early 1800s New England.

Very well-written and realistic. As I've written before, there are loads of poor-quality historical fiction books for children out there - thankfully, this book is not among them. It is a great book, and will be a good addition to any homeschool library.








A few notes from the kitchen:

This Christmas season included a few wonderful new recipes:

Pumpkin Crumble Cake - see my notes in the comments as to how to make a dairy-free version, as well as how to replace the cake mix with a homemade version. For the recipe itself, I reduced the sugar to 1 1/4 cups, and am going to try to reduce it further to 1 cup. 

Creamy Cornbread Casserole - I used a homemade Jiffy copycat mix and also (because I was out of bell peppers) substituted a can of green chilis for the bell pepper. This was an immediate hit around here. 

***

Another great recipe was Autumn Pancakes - they have an awesome texture, and even our oatmeal-hating child loved them. My only change is to let the oatmeal mixture sit for longer than five minutes, which gives more time for absorption and softening, not to mention cooling. Given how long things take around here, that's an easy thing to accomplish. 

***

Another kitchen adventure around here lately was our first ever Super Bowl party. This was not something that I ever saw myself doing, as I have a passionate dislike of football (and sports in general), and an even more intense dislike of the politics that seem to surround the game nowadays. However, it happened - mainly due to our children's sudden enthusiasm - and they had a wonderful time decorating and hosting friends. 

In case anyone saw the creepy "He Gets Us" ad, I wanted to share - along with a great response article) - an intensely awesome and breathtakingly beautiful how-it-should-have-been-done video (don't miss this one - it is so good!): 


***

Now, onto a more light-hearted kitchen theme - birthday cakes!

February is a big birthday month for us - we literally can't finish one cake before it's time for another. 

Our first cake of the month was an utter disaster. A complete. and. utter. disaster. So bad that I didn't even take a picture of it. We just quit in the middle and ate it - it was delicious - and I promised the birthday child that I would re-do the entire thing after birthday season. That adventure is yet to come. 

The second cake of the month was a much bigger success. The theme - dinosaurs. I found this cake to be my inspiration:



I loved the idea of two tones of green. I approximated her colors by using plain green for the deep green, and green plus yellow and one drop each of black and brown for the yellow-green. The contrast was great. Upon discovering that I don't actually have a grass tip, I used this fun tip to approximate:



For the cake itself, I used a favorite cake of ours - Beat and Bake Orange Cake. This is a splendid cake, and super-easy to make. My changes:

  • I find that regular sugar works just fine.
  • I increase the orange zest, and add an equal amount of lemon zest. (Maybe a tablespoonful or so of each.)
  • I used this frosting, which has less sugar (I find most frostings unpleasantly sweet). It would be a bit on the soft side for layer cake frosting, so if you're planning a layer cake, either chill the frosting a bit first, or omit the orange juice and use a teaspoon of orange extract instead:
    • 2 sticks (1 cup) butter
    • 2 (8 oz. each) cream cheese
    • 1/4 cup orange juice
    • 2 cups powdered sugar
    • 2 tsp. each vanilla, lemon zest, orange zest

And the outcome was - while not anything near the model - a great cake that thoroughly pleased both birthday child and guests.


***

This past week, we attended what I think may have been the most awesome children's birthday party ever.

Why so amazing?

Because the mom pulled it off without destroying herself - something that parties tend to do to women, and which certainly happens to me. 

Here's how this act of brilliance went, via text:

"Hey, everyone - a couple of our kids are having birthdays soon. Meet us at the park on Saturday to celebrate - we'll bring pulled pork and cake. Bring your own lawn chairs and sports equipment, and post here what food or disposable dishes you'd like to bring."

And that was it.

The kids played wildly for several hours - no pre-planned activities needed - and the adults got to talk. At the end, everyone helped clean up.

Zero headaches, zero exhausted-overworked-overwhelmed mom, zero "I will NEVER DO THIS AGAIN" moments.

This is my new model for how to throw a party.

****


Another kitchen adventure was our much anticipated FROG CUPCAKES for Leap Year! (Frogs leap. Get it?) Very uncomplicated, very unprofessional, but very fun - and our children anticipate this for months (years!) in advance. This time I used Hershey's Perfect Chocolate Cake as the base. By halving the recipe and then reducing the 1 cup of sugar to 3/4 cup, the batter was just perfect for a dozen cupcakes.

My favorite all-natural green coloring is chlorophyll, which you can buy at Sprouts or online. The eyes are made with trimmed marshmallows + chocolate chips, and the mouths (we're going to do pink next time) were piped by the 9yo.

It's hard to realize that this is a first-leap-year-ever for two of my children - and by the time it rolls around again, our eldest teen will no longer be a teen, and we'll have two more of the younger crew who will be teens. Wow.

Happy Leap Year, y'all.




Music & Dance

I am a huge fan of English folk dance, and we recently discovered the YouTube channel Historical Dance. Oh, what a treasure trove! Try this one on for size:



We found that one a bit hard for us to learn right away, but we did learn this easier one - give it a try! Super-fun, and not too difficult. (It also revealed to me how completely out of shape I am - ouch!):



There are so many wonderful videos on this channel. Enjoy!


***

We are just starting to enjoy the music from Laudate Mennonite Ensemble. Here is one of their recent productions:



I recently learned of the existence of many wonderful Mennonite choirs. If you haven't yet searched out this area of choral performance, give it a search on YouTube.

*** 

Speaking of historical dance forms, we are currently enjoying videos of Irish dance. Try this one!



***

To end the music & dance section, I'll leave you with our 2yo's current favorite (he is currently fussing in my arms because I'm writing about it rather than playing it!



***

Okay, folks! That's it for this entry. Write and let me know how you and your families are doing - and if you've read any good books lately. I hope that each of you is having a good spring and a wonderful Lent. 

And in the meantime, pray for me, as I pray for you.

Happy Easter! 


Sunday, February 18, 2024

Birth Story for Baby #8 - Late First Trimester Miscarriage + Hospitalization for Postpartum Sepsis

 

Every baby deserves his own birth story, even those with unhappy outcomes. Please do not read if you mind blood and personal details, and please do not read if you yourself are pregnant.

*   *   *

Last March, I found - to my infinite surprise - that baby #8 had joined the party. I really wasn't expecting a new little one soon - or, considering my age (41 at the time), perhaps at all. It was a bit of a shock.

My pregnancy nausea started that same afternoon - as always, suddenly and definitely. My reaction to this was intense irritation, as in, Really? I don't even have time to tell my husband before this nonsense starts up again - AS USUAL? (I have rather lost my patience with pregnancy nausea, as you may infer.) Unfortunately, it was real, strong, and following the usual pattern of growing intensity. Depressing.

However, this is not an entry about pregnancy nausea. Suffice it to say, over the following several weeks I made an exciting discovery of something that really helped with pregnancy nausea, and I shared about that in this blog post. I hope to learn more with time, and should we be blessed with another child, I will post about how pregnancy nausea goes in that pregnancy. But moving on with the story of this baby...

Besides nausea and fatigue, the pregnancy proceeded normally through the spring. And then, at 10w6d, everything changed. On that day, I noticed the faintest tinge of pink staining. 

Blood. 

Just the tiniest amount. But, as any mama knows, blood during pregnancy is really, really not good. Sure, it can stem from any amount of innocent causes. But on the whole, it is usually a sign that something is wrong. 

And thus began one of the wildest and most stressful weeks of my life. I said nothing to my husband, and prayed that nothing would come of it. But the next day (11w0d), it was back. And there was more. The next day, more. At that point (11w1d), I sat down with my husband and said, "I don't know how to say this, but I think that there is a chance that we are going to lose the baby." He was devastated - but, as is his wont, inclined to look on the bright side and be hopeful. (In all life situations, I am the dark pessimist/realist, and my husband is the carefree sunny optimist. It's how we roll.)

I prayed so hard that week. Over and over, God, please spare this child. Please let the bleeding stop. Praying all day, and then waking up in the night, and praying some more. 

I also contacted our midwife and let her know what was going on. She and I both knew that there was nothing that could be done, but she was sympathetic, and she stayed in touch with me.

On Friday, the spotting really picked up, and it also changed from pink to red. We knew that - barring a miracle - a miscarriage was going to happen, and we needed to prepare for it. 

The first thing that we did was to get in touch with one of our priests, and he gave us a lot of really valuable direction. He told us, firstly, that our baby needed a name. This surprised me, as I had not really thought seriously of naming a child whose gender could not be known. (I know that there are early gender tests, but we were not planning on using any of them.) However, he said quite firmly that no, each baby needs his own name. So, after some brief discussion, we picked a name - John Paul Thomas, after both John Paul II and my favorite disciple (being a born doubter, how could I not love the apostle Thomas?). 

(If baby was indeed a girl, then I suppose it would change to something like Joanna - not my first pick, with apologies to all Joannas in the crowd, but it would do. As I said, we were in a hurry.)

(Later, in looking up feminine variants of the name John, I found the following as options: "Jackie, Jacqueline, Jana, Jane, Janet, Jeanne or Jeannie, Joan, Joanna or Johanna." Good to know.)

This was quite different than our usual naming process, which usually stretches for months at a time. But this time we were in a time crunch, and we found our name within 20 minutes.

It was very odd - nightmarish, actually - to be picking a name for a child who one believes may be born dead. And there was still that bit of hope - maybe this will all stop, and everything will be okay. But one way or the other, we had no time - it was an incredible rush.

Secondly, our priest gave us the name of a cemetery that accepts pre-born babies for burial, and we got in touch with them. They were wonderful - we really appreciated their sweet and compassionate communications with us - but we found that they accepted only children for burial who were born at 20 weeks gestation or later. So this was something that was put off for later.

On Saturday morning, my bleeding was really picking up, and I knew with finality that this was really going to happen, sooner or later. When the rest of the family headed out the door for our daughter's morning at ballet lessons, not knowing anything else to do, I just sat down to wait. And within just a few minutes of the family leaving, I felt a gentle pop that was identical to SROM (spontaneous rupture of membranes, or one's water breaking), but instead of amniotic fluid, it was a sudden and massive rush of blood. 

At that point, I realized that I had been quite foolish - I had marooned myself in the kitchen, a room in our home that is completely surrounded by carpeted floor. But there was nothing for it but to run for the bathroom, using my skirt as best as I could to staunch the blood. Thankfully I made it there without incident.

However, once I got to the bathroom and started dealing with things, all chaos broke loose. The baby's gestational sac was born immediately - which, not having the ability to deal with it at that time, I set aside. Then I started trying to deal with the blood. 

It's hard to describe the amount of blood that was going on. Even now it's hard to describe. I was frantically trying to make giant pads out of paper towels, which only lasted for a few minutes each, while trying to wipe up blood off of the floor - and, at some points, the walls, as it was hitting the ground that hard. There was blood everywhere.

Afterwards, I realized that I should simply have spent the afternoon sitting in the bathtub. That would have been the only sensible thing to do. However, that was hindsight. In the moment, all I could think about was trying to keep up with the mess. And I was totally unused to blood loss of this variety, so totally unlike a birth, in which there is usually a big rush of blood and fluid, and then the uterus clamps down and the blood flow is reduced to nothing more than a heavy period (or less). This was totally different - the blood just kept coming. 

I realized at the time that there was a danger of hemorrhage, but my thought at the time was that "as long as I'm not light-headed, I'm probably okay." I have no idea if that was true. And I think I may have gotten a little bit giddy. But not being a trained birth professional, I am completely unable to estimate my blood loss. However, when my husband - the next day - saw me lugging a garbage bag full of blood-soaked paper towels out to the trash, he said, "Um, that's a lot of blood." Yes, it was.

The blood flow continued crazy-heavy for about six hours, and then it finally slowed down to a reasonable level, and I was able to start moving around a bit and restarting normal activities.

[One interesting thing was that my morning sickness - which I have heard often stops when an unborn baby dies, prior to the actual loss process - continued unabated through the week of waiting, and did not start to wane until the evening after the miscarriage process began. In all honesty, this was an added source of stress to me, as I kept thinking, "The baby has to be okay. I'm still sick," - which was not at all true.] 

The following day was Mother's Day. (A word to the wise: Don't go on social media on Mother's Day when you've just suffered a loss.) We held on to our secret for most of the day, and then in the evening told the children the basics: "The baby has died, and Mama is no longer pregnant." They were very sad, and so were we. 


One of our winter Arizona sunsets.

*****

But the story doesn't end there.

That evening, I sat down with my husband and told him that although we had not made it to the end of a healthy pregnancy, I still needed to treat the post-loss time as a "postpartum" period, i.e. trying to stay in bed and rest as much as possible. I knew that I had lost a lot of blood, and that I was also recovering from both a miscarriage and from having been pregnant. He agreed completely.

However, I didn't really take my own advice. Two days later I was up and driving out to pick up our grocery orders. The next day, I drove the crew several towns away for a dance performance. Although I knew I shouldn't, I went back to normal life almost immediately. (Though I did do my best to sit around more than I normally would.) It is surprisingly hard to be still and relax when there isn't a living baby in the picture, with all of the rituals of birth and the demands of breastfeeding a newborn to remind one to slow down. I'm afraid I didn't slow down nearly as much as I should have.

The miscarriage was on Saturday, and throughout the whole experience, there was very little pain - no more than mild to moderate period-type cramps. However, on Wednesday morning, I experienced severe cramps - what I call "four-Advil-level" cramps. I found this curious, but didn't think much of it. 

But it happened again - this time in the middle of the night (on the same day). Weird.

On Thursday, I got up at my usual time and thought that I was okay. I began my day. But I canceled a doctor's appointment that I had that morning for one our children, without really knowing why. Later in the morning, I went to church for a special service (was it Pentecost? or Ascension Day?), but as soon as the music started, I burst into tears and from there alternated between crying and wondering why was I feeling so incredibly awful? I only lasted about 15 minutes into the service before I simply got up and left. When I got home, I marched into the house, told my husband that I was going back to bed, and did so - and stayed there, just feeling worse and worse.

At some point, my husband came in and gave me the wild-eyed look that meant, "Are you really going to stay in bed when I'm trying to work from home and the children are bouncing off of the walls?" - to which I replied with firmness (and, I'm afraid, grouchy firmness) that I was feeling awful and was not going to be getting up, period. He was puzzled, but he kindly rolled with it. 

At some point, I realized that I was feeling scary-bad, and so I went into the bathroom to try to find a thermometer. (At our house, we can never find a thermometer. Ever. And if we do find one, it is either broken or battery-less, with the kind of batteries that one never, ever has around the house.) Miraculously, though, I did find a working thermometer, and, sure enough, I had a fever. Moreover, it was going up every time I checked it (about every five minutes). 

At this point, I knew that something was really wrong, and that I needed my husband to call our midwife. By that time I was feeling so awful that I didn't feel up to going and getting my husband, so I just prayed that he would come in - and shortly, he did (prayer answered!) and I asked him to call up our midwife. Unfortunately, it turned out that she was on a plane leaving the country on a trip, and she had to forward our request to one of her colleagues. However, that midwife immediately got in touch with us, and told us exactly what I expected to hear - that I had some kind of post-miscarriage infection going on, likely due to retained material, and that we needed to head to the hospital right away. 

And that's what we did. Thankfully one of our children was old enough to babysit, so we were able to be on the road in just a few minutes. I asked my husband if we could travel about 30 minutes away so that we could check in at my favorite hospital, and he graciously agreed. (Here in Phoenix, we are surrounded by hospitals, but I do have a special love for one in particular.) 

When we checked in, we were immediately started in the system. But it's a long process, as anyone who's ever gone to the ER knows. We ended up having every test known to man, in a long process took about ten hours (1:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.), and ended up with my being admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics for a diagnosis of postpartum septic endometritis (sepsis). 

Two of my big worries thankfully turned out to be groundless: (1) I did not have an ectopic pregnancy going on, and (2) there was no retained tissue. Both of those were a big relief. 

I ended up being in the hospital for four days. My stay was lengthened by the complicating factor of my fever returning at the 24-hour mark, a sign that a bug was eluding the current antibiotic regimen, so another antibiotic was added into the mix. A most amusing side-effect of this antibiotic was a strong and unpleasant taste in the mouth - which I at first attributed to my fevered imagination, but later concluded (rightly so, it turns out) that it must have had something to do with the antibiotics.

Being in the hospital, and feeling mostly okay for much of the time, was actually an interesting experience. Though I learn toward naturopathic healing modalities, I have the utmost respect for dedicated medical professionals in the Western system, and I met many wonderful nurses, techs, and doctors. Additionally, I had time for some serious, all-day reading - something I haven't had time to do since college. One day was taken up with a book of Oscar Wilde's plays, and another day was devoted to C. S. Lewis's That Hideous Strength (the third book in Lewis's science fiction trilogy). 

That second day, indeed, was really a spiritual retreat for me - reading, praying, and contemplating. I came to a lot of good conclusions. Mainly, I realized that I needed to stop taking blessings for granted. Children, pregnancy, marriage, health, home life, cooking, cleaning, life in general - all of them are blessings - blessings that can be removed without notice. The life of a large-family homeschool mom is one of never-ending struggles, of exhaustion and being overwhelmed - and personally, I struggle intensely with finding contentment, and avoiding the sin of discouragement. The experience of losing the baby, and temporarily losing my health, my home life, and my family, was a good wake-up call, and the C.S. Lewis reading was an added spiritual experience on top of all of that. I came away from the experience with the feeling that my stay in the hospital had been a blessing. 

I came home from the hospital with oral antibiotics - which, incidentally, made me feel awful - and spent a good couple of months feeling exhausted and rather wretched before perking up in mid- to late summer. I'm not sure if the exhaustion was from the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the blood loss, or the antibiotics - or perhaps all of the above. It was nice to realize that I was finally feeling better after a few months had passed.  

Our church family came around us with a gift of a meal train while and after I was in the hospital, and that was an immense blessing. Ladies, meal ministry is such a blessing to those in your church and community. It is such a good way to support families who are struggling! We felt very blessed during this time, especially as I was feeling too tired and sick for several weeks to cook.

*****

And there you have it - our birth story for baby #8. The outcome was not what we planned or imagined, but the Lord held all in His hands, and we trust His judgment. Each baby is precious; each baby is remembered; each baby has an eternal soul and is precious in the sight of God.

*****

A few reflections to finish up:

(1) Why and how did I come down with postpartum sepsis?

It's an interesting question, and I'm not really clear on any answers. I practiced good hygiene throughout the process, and I have had seven previous pregnancies with no issues of any kind.

In my reading, I did see that postpartum sepsis is more common after hemorrhage. I don't know if I qualify for that, but I did bleed heavily. Additionally, as I noted, I did return to my everyday activities far too quickly following the loss. And there were probably factors at work that I simply will never know.

(2) I have heard for many, many years that miscarriages can be very physically traumatic, and even a danger to one's life.

Folks, they weren't kidding. 

Don't mess around with miscarriages, especially those that happen further on in pregnancy. Respect them and respect the process  and don't be foolish or careless. Miscarriages can be extremely dangerous. 

Additionally, a friend possessing an antique medical book on obstetrics told me that the author of the book wrote strongly that mothers who suffered miscarriages needed to be treated even more carefully than mothers who had completed full-term pregnancies - the reason being that childbirth is the natural and healthy outcome of pregnancy, and thus is lower-risk than a miscarriage, which by definition is the unnatural and unhealthy outcome of pregnancy. Thus, if my habit was - as it is - to stay in (or on) bed for two weeks after a birth, then I should have stayed in bed even longer following a hard miscarriage. Whatever practices I had for a normal birth should have been followed more stringently for miscarriage.

Needless to say, I didn't follow that policy. Perhaps if I had, I would have had a healthier outcome following our loss.


(3) This miscarriage followed a week of prayer and worry. I knew even at the time, that I could have simplified matters by requesting an ultrasound, which my midwives do have available. 

But I didn't. 

Why?

I'm not quite sure. Possibly I wanted to hang on to hope, and not to have to see what I knew I would probably see. Denial.

On a practical level, getting over to my midwives' office would have been a serious headache, requiring me to request my husband to make special arrangements with his work, etc., and I wasn't really up to the challenge (both being a worried wreck and still being quite ill and/or exhausted with pregnancy sickness).

If there's a next time, would I consider it? 

Perhaps.

(4) Similarly, I have learned - and I knew at the time - that there are early baby gender tests (by blood test) that we could have taken advantage of in order to know baby's sex. Normally I am an absolute paranoid freak about not wanting to know baby's gender before birth, but in the case of an impending miscarriage, it might be nice - both for naming and for remembrance. 

Again, I didn't take advantage of this. Why?

And again, I'm not quite sure. Possibly because of the extra cost; possibly because of the extra trouble during a time of grief and physical illness. Possibly because early miscarriage is usually cloaked in mystery - one does not naturally know the sex of babies lost in early miscarriage - and so I didn't feel an overwhelming need to know.

But I would consider it at a future time if it was needed.

(5) Something odd that I noticed:

After the miscarriage, I was overwhelmed with grief. Anything and everything could start the flow of tears - and I am not one for crying. It went like this: Walk around a corner in a store. Start crying. Etc.

But. 

Once I was thoroughly sick and in the hospital and receiving treatment, that overwhelming, soul-stopping grief suddenly evaporated. I do not mean that I no longer grieved - I did. But it became a gentle, longing regret, rather than an unstoppable and uncontrollable physical response. It almost felt like the grief manifested as my physical symptoms of sickness during the sepsis, and left my body. I cannot explain this, but the sudden transition was too abrupt not to notice. 

(6) This was my first real experience with a life-threatening illness. It was mean, it was brutal, and it moved super-fast. This is the first time in my life that I have thought, if it hadn't been for medical intervention, I don't think I would have survived. That's an interesting thought. Two hundred years ago, my cause of death, at age 42, would have been "childbed fever after a miscarriage," and I would have been one of the many women whose deaths were linked to childbearing - a very common fate throughout the course of history. An interesting thought on human mortality. 

(7) Speaking of childbed fever (the historical name for postpartum sepsis), I was speaking to a young OB, later during a follow-up appointment, and found, to my surprise, that she had never heard the phrase "childbed fever." 

What?

Are they no longer teaching history to doctors? Especially to OB/GYN doctors? I found this astounding, as the history of childbed fever is foundational to the development of both obstetrics and modern medicine (sterile technique, handwashing, etc.), and I cannot conceive of someone receiving an 8+ year education in medicine and obstetrics without knowing the history of childbed fever. I found this most curious.

And enough meditations. 

*****

Thank you for sharing this journey with me, dear friends! I know that so many of you have suffered losses of babies during pregnancy, and you are in my thoughts. May God comfort all of those who have lost little ones during pregnancy - and beyond. 


Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Reflections on Endings (Books Lately, August 2023)


I've noticed something that happens every year, in two steps:

(1) I spend all year longing for autumn and the winter holidays,

(2) As soon as September hits, I am so stressed and overloaded that I'm watching the clock till January hits.

Can anyone identify with this?

Seriously, autumn is my favorite season. And I adore the holidays and the liturgical year that progresses from Michaelmas into Advent, through Christmas and Epiphany. I live for all of that.

But it can be a bit much. It's always difficult to make the holiday season special without making myself a stressed-out mess.

Trying to find that right balance, as a mother, is a constant tension. Though I've made progress, I've never done it perfectly (or even well). 

It's an interesting phenomenon to consider.


Our Christmas wreath project from last year. I committed to making two kits of these to sell at our upcoming Christmas craft boutique. Considering that they're due in a week and a half and we haven't started yet.. mmm, well, hmm. 


In other news:

This past month we traveled north for my father to receive military honors at the VA cemetery several hours away from our home. It was an emotional time, especially for my poor mom, who received the folded flag and had to see her husband's ashes laid to rest. It was hard on all of us, but I think it was the worst for her. In seeing her go through all of this, I cannot help but look to the future and wonder if I will be called to the same grief - that of laying a husband to rest, of letting go and saying goodbye till eternity. And if it's not I who am called, it will be my husband who is. Either way, it's a hard truth.

It also brought a lot of thoughts: Primarily, that my dad's pilgrimage here is done. For better or worse, his journey on earth is over. He did a great job, and I could not have asked for a better dad. Doubtless, he made mistakes and committed many sins, many of which he most likely regretted, but now it was time for him to return to his Creator. 

To put it bluntly, each of us will face that same moment of ending, and of reckoning. Our time here is not endless. We feel like it is, and modern society encourages us to think that way ("don't think about death, just buy-buy-buy!"), but mortality - death - is the final reality. At some point, our journey here will be over, and we will, for better or worse, be called home. 

May we use our time wisely and well.






In a similar vein, our eldest graduated from high school this past summer. Like my father's death, our son's graduation was actually quite unexpected. We'd hit some potholes along the way, things were a bit messy, and we really didn't know how or when he was going to graduate. But he decided that the time was now, and he pushed it through. We're very proud of him, and now we wait for the next chapter to unfold. 

But for me, as a teacher, there is the same reckoning. Our educational journey is over. Though it seemed endless, it actually had an endpoint, and we reached it before I realized it. The judgment of how well I did as a teacher - and how well he did as a student - will be in how he chooses to live his life going forward.

How did I do? I'm not sure. My failures were legion. My insufficiencies were too many to count. My regrets are many. At the same time, I can absolutely say that I did the best I could. Furthermore, I have to admit, I was able to give to our eldest far more - in terms of my energy, my time, and my overly-ambitious undertakings - than I shall be able to give to any of our subsequent children. That is sobering, considering how many things with our eldest were wished for but never completed (or even attempted). 

I suspect that a homeschool journey and a life lived are much the same. We do our best - but sin and human frailty play an enormous part. We must do our best and also rely on grace. 

In homeschooling and parenting, as in life, may we use our time wisely and well. 

And now, let's have a few books:


For Teens & Adults

Let's start with an author introduction: Vesper Stamper. Have you heard of her? If not, you should have!

I learned about Vesper Stamper while watching an interview with her:



The interview is utterly fascinating, so if you just scrolled past, go back and watch the video. Seriously.

After enjoying the interview, I checked two of Stamper's books out of our public library - What the Night Sings and Berliners. They both blew me away. Let's check them out:


What the Night Sings: A Novel (Vesper Stamper) - Historical fiction in Nazi Germany and post-war Europe.

A girl grows up in Nazi Germany not knowing, until she and her father are arrested, that she is Jewish. Her father is soon killed, but she herself survives through until Liberation. While the story tells of her childhood and the torments of her incarceration, one of the main focal points of the book is one that is almost universally untold - what happened to concentration camp inmates after they were liberated. For the main character, this involved living in the freed concentration camp, marriage, leaving the camp, and eventually emigrating to the newly-formed nation of Israel. 

Parents will want to preview this book to make sure that a student is ready for this book, as the subject matter is very dark. There is also some gentle sexuality in the telling (mainly G-rated) of a married couple's first night together. On the whole, I'd say that this novel - and the next - are for older teens and adults.


Berliners (Vesper Stamper) - Historical fiction in post-War Berlin during the building of the Berlin Wall.

This book may be considered a sequel to the first, as it continues the life story of the man who was - unbeknownst to the reader in the first book - the betrayer of the main character and her father. He is now married and the father of two boys, and the story continues in Berlin during the days preceding the building of the Berlin Wall. 

Several intertwining themes spanned the length of this book. Firstly, on the part of the parents, the question is asked: What became of the Nazis? Yes, many officials were prosecuted during the Nuremberg trials, but many regular citizens were complicit in Nazi war crimes. Those people went back to their regular lives, but many had to deal long-term with the darkness of their pasts, as the father did in this book.

A second theme is how the two brothers react to the political climate. One enthusiastically and passionately embraces Communism; the other is a skeptic. In the end, they end up on different sides of the Wall.

The book is shocking in that it ends - quite suddenly - with many unanswered questions. What will happen to the parents' marriage? What will happen to the mother? And to the other characters? This is not a Lord of the Rings ending in which each and every story line is neatly and tidily finished up in elaborate detail. Instead, the author leaves you hanging - and it's a very effective way to end a book.

In the interview linked above, Stamper mentions that it takes her several years to write a book. And it shows. The depth of historical research, of really getting into a historical time period, is astounding. The workmanship is superb. You will not need any other resource to study post-war Berlin. 

I read this book so long ago that I cannot remember details about language, sexuality, etc. Again, parents, pre-read. It's super-dark stuff. But this book is certainly the best historical fiction that I've found on the Berlin Wall. In all honesty, it's some of the best historical fiction I've found on any topic. As a wide reader of children's fiction, I can tell you that there is a lot of really mediocre and downright crummy children's (and teen and adult) historical fiction out there. (There are entire series of the stuff.) This is different. It's pure gold. And it was a joy to read. 

Enjoy.


***

And now, onto a few other books!


How to Save the West: Ancient Wisdom for 5 Modern Crises (Spencer Klavan) – Theology, politics, worldview, philosophy, religion.

This book is like fine fudge. It needs to be read in small bites, and savored - because it is so rich, and so good, that it cannot be rushed. This book is a masterpiece, and I highly recommend it. Don't just read it at the library - buy a copy. (Or many copies. And hand them out in public places. It couldn't hurt.)

Highly recommended!




The Ministry of Ordinary Places: Waking Up to God’s Goodness Around You (Shannan Martin) - Christian living.

I was so looking forward to this book, which I found recommended in another book from last month's Books Lately. Not only is the cover absolutely delightful, but I adore books about hospitality. Hospitality is a weak spot with me - I love the idea of it, and I really do try, but I am also an alone-time loving introvert who tends to take out any stress in hermit-like behavior. (Any fellow hermits out there?) So I know that hospitality is something that will always be both a joy and a struggle for me, and I love any encouragement or tips that I can get. 

First, the positives:

The author, Shannan Martin, is very well-intentioned. She is reaching out to people in her community. And the basic message of the book is sound - that we should reach out into our surrounding neighborhoods and communities to invite people into our homes - even people who don't look quite like us. And she is obviously doing a better job at this than I am. 

The negatives:

The book constantly straddles the fence true forms and false forms - between Christianity and progressive Christianity, between hospitality and woke social justice. The author seems to see many or most things in terms of race. Additionally, her language veers into wild and semi-hysterical emotional language that many times doesn't even make sense. (Think Rob Bell.) 

So, alas, I cannot recommend this book. But I do appreciate the author's good intentions. 

If you want a great book on hospitality - though one that will leave you with a racing heart and a permanent guilt trip - try Rosaria Butterfeld's The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World.

Does anyone out there have other great books on hospitality to recommend?


 Carry On, Jeeves (P.G. Wodehouse) - Fiction, humor.

 My monthly Jeeves & Wooster fix. Mmmm.

(Sorry, folks, can't figure out the formatting problem with that past entry.)


For Children

More All-of-a-Kind Family (Book #2 in the All-of-a-Kind Family Series by Sydney Taylor) - Non-fiction chapter book of a Jewish family in early twentieth-century America.

After having known and loved the first book from childhood, I am very much enjoying continuing on with the series. This book introduces two new characters - an uncle (whose name I cannot recall) and his love interest, Lena. We enjoyed this very much.

Highly recommended.






Hanna's Cold Winter (Trish Marx) - Lightly fictionalized  non-fiction picture book.

The story, based on a true incident, of how the people of Budapest saved their zoo's hippos during the winter starvation of World War II.

We loved this story, and even more, the illustrations. They are lovely. This book was added to our family booklist (which I am working on every day, and hope to have to share with you in a couple of months!).












From the Kitchen

I seem to be going through a new-recipe boom, so here are some winners to try!

***

I know that this recipe for Homemade Pierogi from King Arthur is a great recipe, because King Arthur doesn't put out bad recipes. 

BUT

I tried to make it with gluten-free flour. And I'm still trying to forget the kitchen scenes that resulted. 

Let's just say that gluten-free flour, while it works for most recipes, just doesn't work for some recipes. Even after I kneaded in a ton of gluccie, it was still a falling-apart mess. And then, to top it off, I went and burned the few pierogi that we were able to salvage.

I will make this recipe again. Just not with gluten-free flour.

***

At some point, I realized that the meat I had thawed to bake was not my usual skin-on chicken thighs, but skinless chicken thighs - which I love for the crockpot, but how on earth does one bake them?

This recipe for How To Cook Boneless, Skinless Chicken Thighs in the Oven was my answer, and it was very tasty.

***

One of our family's favorite recipes, made only for special occasions is Scotch Eggs. We serve them with oven potatoes and baked beans. If you haven't tried Scotch Eggs yet, do give them a try. (We leave out the salt - they're super-salty as-is.)

***

A friend brought us this Chinese Orange Chicken (with rice and stir-fry vegetables) after my father's death. It was delicious, and we hope to try the recipe soon.

***

I recently ran across this recipe for Hawaiian Haystacks - basically, rice, a chicken cream sauce, and then lots of delectable toppings. We tried it and absolutely loved it - my husband immediately asked me to put this into our regular meal rotation. I always love finding meals that are simple, healthy, and include vegetables (especially raw vegetables). For the cream soup, I recommend Pacific Foods for a product with better ingredients.

I also added this recipe to my repertoire of dinners that I take to families. The rice can be taken either dry (so the family can make it fresh) or cooked, the cream sauce goes cold into a plastic container or bag for the family to heat, and the toppings go into individual bags. It's been a success every time.

***

On the day of my father's funeral, I put this Vegetable Barley Soup in the crockpot, headed out for the day, and hoped for the best. The soup was awesome, and the family loved it. It was lovely to walk into a ready-made dinner. (I should do this more often. Usually I don't.)

(If you're going to try this, do the prep work the day before. There's nothing fun about trying to prep a crockpot the morning-of while your children run in circles screaming, not that I would know anything about that, certainly not.)

***

Last week, I ended up with four fresh chickens that had to be cooked right now (primarily because I'd put them in the fridge and forgotten about them for four days, before rushing out in a panic to see if they were still good - which they were, but time was limited). I wanted more of a rotisserie style than a baked style, so I turned to the internet to see if such a thing was possible in a conventional oven - and it was. Easy Rotisserie Chicken, at your service. 

The recipe was easy, fast, and delicious. My plans to freeze the meet for recipes down the road was derailed by the slight issue of my family eating all four chickens. How on earth did they manage that one?

***

One mind-blowing development in the kitchen -  I learned the Holy Grail of how to cook collard greens. Namely, I covered them in water, put them on the stove, and completely forgot about them. As in, all day. When I finally remembered them, I drained most of the water, added some bacon, and let them cook some more. And they were so good that even the children ate them without complaining

Around here, that is a win. 

They were the most delicious green I've ever made. Usually I'm not a huge fan of collards, because they simply stay leathery. Long and slow cooking (and bacon!) seems to be the answer.

***

And finally, I tried something new - making an ice cream cake! It was an enormous hit at our 9yo's birthday, and the whole family was entranced with a homemade ice cream cake. To my surprise, making an ice cream cake was easier than making a regular decorated birthday cake - no lie! It just took a bit longer. I recommend a three-day process (four-day if you really want to stretch it). 
  • Day 1 = Bake the cake, slice and freeze.
  • Day 2 = Assemble. (Depending on how many ice cream flavors you use, this can take many steps. We used only one ice cream, so it wasn't too long.)
  • Day 3 = Eat.

Two tips that I learned: The above recipe uses a spring-form pan for assembly, which would be awesome, but I didn't have a matching cake pan (mine are 8" and 10") and springform (mine is 9"). So I just used the cake pan for assembly, lifting the cake out with the plastic wrap handles when it was done, and it worked just fine.) Also, I found that I needed more whipping cream than the recipe called for in order to frost the cake (recipe = 1 1/2 cups, what I needed = 2 to 2 1/2 cups).

Enjoy. 


Enjoy the recipes and the books, dear friends! I'll see you soon, and until then, pray for me, as I pray for you!